Street Performance Lines and Banter

List of typical street lines and banter (just off the top of my head!)

1.)    (person walks through your show)

Response: It’s ok, it’s just a stage they’re going through.

                  I don’t walk into your bedroom in the middle of the night when you’re trying to perform!

It’s ok ladies and gentlemen, that man is just my agent and look at me I’m working on the streets.

Variation ~ That woman is my dear old mum – don’t worry she never acknowledges me in public.  I love you mummy!!!

2.)    ‘Something’ of Death or Doom, eg. The unicycle of death, the knives of death, the fire of doom etc.

3.)    (Parent with kid on Shoulders)  Excuse me sir, do you realise there’s a small child growing out of your head.  Small child, do you realise there’s a man growing out of your…never mind.

4.)    Juggling ~ There is a stage in every man’s life when their balls have to drop.

5.)    (man looking nonplussed with their hands in pockets) Please take your hands out of your pockets; this is a kid’s show.  Or  Take your hands out of your pockets we all know what you’re doing down there,

6.)    (Woman looking nonplussed with arms crossed) You might want to unfold your arms, you’ll squish your breasts or it’ll hurt when you clap.

7.)    I want you all to whoop, cheer, clap, throw small children in the air, you sir?  I want you to drop your pants and go ‘Whoooo’ when I count to tree for no reason at all just so we can grow our crowd and people will think I’m great.

8.)    Late comers ~ Sorry the shows over and now we’re talking about Jesus.

9.)    And for my big finale I will kill a small child.

10.)                        Hat lines ~ Stop, wait, don’t move and don’t walk away like those cheap chavs over there.

If you meet me in a pub and I showed you a card trick you’d probably buy me a pint and a pint is what, £5.00 in this economy.

Please come up and put some money in my hat, just open your wallet, take it out and fold it neatly.

If you don’t have any cash there’s a cash machine over there.

Rewarding a volunteer (usually a small child) with a note (money) and saying that they deserved it for being so brave as to come out there in front of all those people and perform for them.

I’m not paid or sponsored to be here not by the bank, the (whatever) shop your near, not by the government or any other criminal organisation.

If you’ve just arrived and wondering what’s happening, people are giving me money for no reason, come join them!

Most Common Busking Mistakes

Dancers, Buildings and People in the Streets (Dance Performance)

Most Commons Busking Mistakes!

1.)    Being too shy and therefore sitting as far away on the pavement as you can from passers-by and of course having your HAT too far away for people to notice.  Make a big enough noise, be confident in your performance and people will notice, make allowances and not walk into you!

2.)    Getting so distracted by hecklers that your audience walk away or they only stay to see if there’s going to be a punch and not to reward you!  Come to the street prepared with some witty one liners to shut down and ward off hecklers before they take hold.

3.)    Being unsafe – if you are using fire or dangerous props you have to account for accidents, mistakes and all eventualities.  Lay down a rope or chain to mark a safe distance for people to stand and watch out for young children who don’t understand the danger they could be in if they run into the middle of your stage when you’re juggling fire for example.  Know your limitations and perfect your finales, even if you have an exciting idea you want to share – messing it up at the last minute will kill your audiences enthusiasm and you won’t get paid.  You have to appear and BE in control and sure or people won’t trust you and won’t want their kids near you and you want children’s shows, they are the most unpredictable but also funniest and most enjoyable.

4.)    If you’re doing a show build an audience first with teasers, setting up and by interacting with them or by the time anyone has noticed you, your show will be over.

5.)    Escalate in a show – start small but impressive, showing off your skills and then do a bigger trick and finish with something that will blow their minds.

6.)    You need a hook – something different, a different performance style or addition to an age old routine to make your audience feel they are seeing something exciting for the first time and not to bore them with a juggling routine that the previous five performers have already done.

7.)    Respect is very important.  If a mother is genuinely concerned for her child and pulls them away don’t insult her rights on how she’s bringing up her children or the audience will turn against you.  Also if a van or police car decides that they need to drive right through your pitch in the middle of your finale, you have to keep the momentum, you can’t avoid the situation so be polite and deal with it as quickly as possible.

8.)    One of the biggest mistakes in shows is choosing the wrong volunteers.  Bringing an audience member in ‘backstage’ so to speak immediately helps the audience to relate to you and they will take the lead on their reactions from the ‘one of them’ standing before them.  Therefore you don’t want to pick someone who is going to heckle you, not trust you, be terrified and shy and run away or the spectators will do likewise.  How to avoid this, though it’s not always possible as you have to be a good people reader and that will come with time but even then people can surprise you, is to watch for committed, happy and reactionary people in your crowd while you do a few warm u p tricks.  After a while you will learn what type of people will be most likely to want, even need, to be in your show and will be a great addition to it.

9.)    Be funny, be insulting but always be on the edge because it’s so easy to go too far in your adrenalin rush and say or do something that discomforts or insults the audience but DON’T play it too safe either or people will get bored.

10.)                        Lastly another mistake is not to ‘pack’ your crowd.  Often when you start to perform a few people will stop and they will be all higgledy-piggledy, scattered all over and kind of focused in your direction.  Tell them to come closer and form lines like in a standing amphitheatre ~ that way it’s harder for people to walk away and psychologically they have made a decision to stay and watch.  You want reactions from the crowd or it’ll be like pulling teeth and torturous for everyone involved including the performer.